Take off your silver spurs...

WHat??

2009-11-06T18:46:28Z

I've been having chronic headaches for a while now, I don't know how long as this point a year maybe?

Last night it was so bad, I spent the evening throwing up and I woke up in the middle of the night and my vision was so messed up, like I was looking through one of those toy magnifying glasses while crosseyed. It was terrifying and I wish I had health insurance.

Hey, headache!

2009-11-02T06:32:11Z

I feel a little abandoned.

I feel very secured in the feeling that I still don't belong anywhere.

panophobia @ 2009-10-25T14:27:00

2009-10-25T18:32:34Z

Dayton, IN is way scarier than Dayton, OH.

panophobia @ 2009-10-23T00:44:00

2009-10-23T04:49:27Z

My arms hurt really really bad.

Okay, so it might be good to get this all out in writing to be honest it won't do any good at all. At least not as good as actually talking through the problems.

But talking through the problems usually winds up with me sobbing in the bath tub ripping at my hair and no one understand anything.

I just bottle it up and bottle it up. Talking about it hasn't solved any issues in two years so we'll just bottle it up some more.

You'd think at a certain point things would become trivial and you just walk it off, but at these certain points I've noticed that they happen every week because everything I ever have to say goes in one ear long enough to weigh your head down to your shoulders, then it goes out the other ear and nothing has been solved so the problem just gets shoved right back into that same fucking bottle and it comes back to LJ and me searching through archives in a hundred different communities hoping to goodness what that someone else will fucking feel the way I do and say I fixed all of this simply by doing that.

But simply doing that will never work which makes me wonder which will ever work. POST DON"T EDIT

panophobia @ 2009-10-16T02:04:00

2009-10-16T06:04:57Z

Who am I kidding?

Spoiling.

2009-09-30T02:03:01Z

Today I thought to myself that I'd really, really love to buy something in celebration. It's been a long time since I've spoiled myself.

Well, it's about 10 hours after the fact, and I'm still thinking. I'm so out of practice shopping for shit that I don't need that I just can't figure out what I'd really want to blow money on. :(

panophobia @ 2009-09-24T13:56:00

2009-09-24T17:57:34Z

My job is ruining my life. What ever happened to seniority?

panophobia @ 2009-09-16T13:42:00

2009-09-16T17:44:56Z

As much as I don't want to admit it, sometimes doing it yourself just isn't good enough.

On a side note, this morning before class, one of my advanced students came in an apologized about her attitude. I had never mentioned anything to her and honestly thought she was being particularly nice to me in comparison to what I was told about her behavior. Made my day.

Maybe one day it will be a real record.

2009-06-22T01:20:43Z

I mean, car windows are overrated?

Why not?

2009-05-08T04:02:57Z

New life, new goals, new routines.

Yeah, I think I'll keep it short.
I'm looking for a film slicer. I want to use my Beica.
And all I'm asking for Christmas this year is an Expo. Holy Cow.

panophobia @ 2009-05-06T22:31:00

2009-05-07T02:31:00Z

David Lindsey Wade
Lyndon Wade
Natasha Gudermane

And figure out Stephane Fugier.

panophobia @ 2009-04-01T23:33:00

2009-04-02T03:34:12Z

Tonight I took my first bath in the new house. The tub is huge and bear clawed and there was an obnoxious amount of bubbles.

Buuuut my head is killing me. Nothing seems enjoyable with a headache.

remember:

2009-02-25T03:53:03Z

miwa yanagi

panophobia @ 2009-02-24T22:51:00

2009-02-25T03:51:37Z

See below?

2009-02-23T03:47:42Z

Failed.

Anyone want to watch Blow Up so I have someone to talk to about something?

panophobia @ 2009-02-08T10:52:00

2009-02-08T15:54:18Z

Yesterday Chris took me to COSI with Gus and Rachel.
We ate at PJs and I forgot the last of my food in the back of Gus's car.
We saw Semi Precious Weapons and it was awesome.

I slept so well last night, had a fun ghost story dream, and now I have to leave for work in a half hour but I'm so warm and comfortable in bed I don't want to move.

panophobia @ 2009-02-06T01:48:00

2009-02-06T06:50:16Z

Will someone help me start a fund raiser so I can buy a new camera so I can get some work?

I'm almost positive that I will never see mine again. Maybe I'll get enough work so I can actually afford real insurance on a new one?

So, who's in? Bake sale?

:'(

panophobia @ 2009-01-13T00:23:00

2009-01-13T05:30:25Z

Chris was approved for the loan to buy the house. He signed the papers last week. Handed over the $500 check. Hired a house inspector, and got his packet in the mail today.

Pope is awake and drunk and that always makes me nervous. I want to go stand in a hot shower but don't want to open the door to walk to the bathroom. Damnit.

panophobia @ 2009-01-12T03:20:00

2009-01-12T08:22:17Z

Chapter 5 was so good. And 6 and 7 and 8 ...and now it's past 3.

panophobia @ 2009-01-09T20:31:00

2009-01-10T01:34:17Z

This was going to be a big post in all caps about how I'm sick of everything, but I'm over it.

I'll just always be the girl that when someone kicks me in the butt or steals my toys I'll cry for my mom and dad to beat up their mom and dad.

I wish they'd teach me something useful so I wouldn't be so irresponsible all the time.

panophobia @ 2008-12-18T01:26:00

2008-12-18T06:30:27Z

I was not invited to share Christmas with Chris. And it's not just that I wasn't invited, it was that it was asked if I could come and the answer was, "no," says his grandmother.

panophobia @ 2008-12-14T01:39:00

2008-12-14T06:40:40Z

I bought terribly cute bird candle holders.

Well, you just wanna exchange numbers?

2008-12-04T17:47:27Z

Last night I was rear ended in front of Kroger. It's not a big deal but it was my first accident and I'm completely shaken.

I smacked my head really hard into my seat, and I can't open my trunk.

1 days to go!

2008-12-03T01:28:03Z

To go:
~~(1) VAH 460~~
(1) VAP 498
(1) VAF 242

To do:
~~1. Class canon~~
2. Personal canon
3. Cinema canon
4. extra assignment (?)
~~5. Nightwatching~~

1. Resume
2. Film
3. Installation
4. Exiting portfolio
5. Thesis presentation

~~1. Glaze group sculpture~~
2. Functional dishes
-construction
-carving
-glazing
3. Personal project
-construction
-carving
-glazing

~~1. Algebra Module~~

GRADUATE!

panophobia @ 2008-11-17T20:59:00

2008-11-18T02:02:22Z

I'm on the phone with "Advanced Technical Support" and they said they are experiencing a nationwide internet outage.

Uh, no thanks, I already saw that episode of South Park.